Kids lie. It’s just what they do. They have active imaginations and love to tell their parents how they have seen a unicorn or have a friend at school who is a werewolf. Typically, parents do not think much of this. They just go, “That’s amazing” and move on because little kids are just having fun. They do not understand what they are doing, and as they get older, they typically grow out of it. They start to realize what is right and wrong, and lying is wrong, but of course, they may still do it. If they broke the vase in the living room, they would likely lie and say they didn’t, but again, this is just kids being kids. However, when it comes to larger lies, it is important kids know where to draw the line. It is important for children, especially to those who are entering into middle and high school to try and not lie, but this can be hard. They may want to in order to try and fit in, but this can make them lose a sense of self. Especially those with life challenges such as ADHD, Autism, “Asperger’s,” anxiety disorders, etc., may lie to peers to seem cool, or lie to their parents about their grades to not get in trouble, which is why it is so important to teach them the importance of telling the truth.
In middle and high school, kids just want to fit in. They want to hang out with loads of the cooler kids because that’s what they may think they are supposed to do, so they will lie to fit in. However, this can cause them to lose a sense of self. They may forget how important it is to be true to who they are, especially since when they are not, it can lead to issues such as anxiety or depressions since they never quite feel right in their skin while also worrying about others finding out about their lies. Yet, telling the truth is more than just being true to yourself. Admitting to your parents that you may be having trouble in school, whether it be with bullies or with grades can save both parties a headache in the long run. If children are truthful and say what is bothering them or what they may be struggling with, an adult or parent can work to fix it with them rather than the child feeling left to deal with it on their own. This can be difficult, especially for the age groups between teens and young adults, but that truth can be so valuable. It can extinguish the issue before it becomes too large of one to hide or fix, which is why it is crucial to not lie and just tell the truth the first time. It may be difficult and even scary for kids to do so. They may feel like fixing it on their own is better than getting in trouble for being honest, which is why it is important for parents to also let their kids know it is okay to mess up. Everyone is human, and mostly everyone tells a little white lie here and there, but for those with life challenges, it can happen more often. A study states, “Unexpectedly, 14 of the 15 children with [life challenges] who peeked at the toy lied about it afterwards — an even higher proportion than that of typically developing kid…” (Rudacille, 2010). With such a high gap, it is important to start teaching children with life challenges the importance of the truth as soon as possible, and the Support for Students Growth Center is the perfect place to do so.
At the Support for Students Growth Center, we help those with life challenges learn the values and importance of skills such as telling the truth, so they are able to do well on their own in school and any other environment. We provide the social, behavioral, emotional, and executive functioning skills children, teens, young adults, and their families need for a happy and successful life in and out of the school setting. Our team of professionals offers coaching/counseling, social skills groups and much more to help teach skills such as understanding the importance of respect to ensure parents do not have to worry that their kids will be unable to make and maintain friendships and other relationships on their own. So, if your child is struggling with skills like the ones discussed above and more, the SSGC is equipped with the tools to help.
Dr. Eric J. Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D.C., is a Developmental and Behavioral Specialist who specializes in Autism, ADHD and related disorders. Dr. Nach is the founder of the Support for Students Growth Center and College Life Skills Program where he and his team of professional’s help develop the Emotional Maturity, Executive Functioning, Life Skill and Social Abilities of children, teens, young adults and college students and those high school students preparing for college. The CollegeLSP is a subsidiary program of the Support For Students Growth Center, located in Boca Raton, FL and providing services nationwide.
Rudacille, D. (2010, November 5). False beliefs: Spectrum: Autism research news. Spectrum. Retrieved December 16, 2022, from https://www.spectrumnews.org/opinion/false-beliefs/