Maintaining Manners

maintaining manners

Manners are typically taught to children from a young age. Keeping your elbows off the table, not chewing with your mouth open, saying please and thank you, etc. are what our parents teach us are the most important traits to have, but as you get older, the definition of manners begins to change. Then, we are taught that maintaining eye contact, paying attention fully to what another person is saying, etc. Is what is consider important manners to society, but for those with unique abilities such as ADHD, Autism, and Asperger’s, these manners can be harder to adapt to.

Everyone has a different opinion about what the most important manner is. Some think it is saying excuse me while others believe it is saying thank you, but either way, to them manners overall are important. It helps us as people make a good impression on others and develop connections since no one wants to be around someone who lacks manners, but some have a harder time developing them than others. When asked, one-third of 1,000 people say that they believe Americans have poor manners, which is about 333 of the people surveyed. (Onion, 2006). No one wants to be called rude. It is an insult not only to you, but to those who taught you manners, but for some, it is not purposeful. Those with unique abilities can have issues maintaining eye contact in conversations, or being fully present when in a conversation, which for some may come off rude, but it may be simply just because they are not fully aware of the fact that they are doing such a thing. (NIH, n.d.). It is not meant to be rude, but in today’s society, these actions are not considered proper manners, which is okay. It is okay to admit that as a person you struggle with maintaining societal norms of what is and isn’t considered proper manners, but it is also something that is able to be taught.

The best part about being a student is how easily you can learn. Information is sucked into your mind like a sponge, and the Support for Students Growth Center knows that, which is why they offer programs to help teach students from elementary to college, skills such as manners. Manners are so important in life. It helps maintain friendships, provides a good foundation for finding and keeping jobs, and even allows for acquaintances to think highly of you. If people are always saying how wonderful and great your manners are, word gets around quickly and allows for more opportunities to come, whether it be in relationships or work, which is why if you are struggling, you should trust the Support for Students Growth Center to help.

Dr. Eric J. Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D.C., is a Developmental and Behavioral Specialist who specializes in Autism, ADHD and related disorders. Dr. Nach is the founder of the College Life Skills Program where he and his team of professional’s help develop the Emotional Maturity, Executive Functioning, Life Skill and Social Abilities of college students and those high school students preparing for college. The CollegeLSP is a subsidiary program of the Support For Students Growth Center, located in Boca Raton, FL and providing services nationwide.

Onion, Amanda. “Have Americans Forgotten Their Manners?” ABC News, ABC News Network, 6 Jan. 2006,

“What Are Some Signs of Learning Disabilities?” Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services,