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Avoiding Holiday Meltdowns: Part Two

Avoiding Holiday Meltdowns: Part Two

Help for Our Children with “Perceptual Challenges”

Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed.

The holiday season can be stressful for our children, teens, and young adults with special needs. Traveling and visiting relatives and friends may interrupt their day-to-day routines and all the excitement can be overwhelming to those kids with “sensory” issues.

Follow some of these user friendly strategies to prevent holiday “blowouts” to help keep your kids feeling “grounded” and create happier memories this holiday season:

Schedule Time Reasonably

Too many events or activities grouped too closely together can overstimulate our child. Pick and choose which activities to participate in and don’t overload the schedule. Include private playtime or an outing to a child-friendly restaurant with a friend, to provide some one-on-one fun for our child. Also, spending some alone time in a quiet corner of the house or taking a short walk can be healthy proactive actions to head off a tantrum in our child.

Suggestion: If you’re planning to spend several days visiting a friend or relative, you may want to consider staying at a motel instead of sleeping over. This will give your child built-in breathing space. Explaining to family why you’re not taking them up with an offer to stay with them can help minimize hurt feelings.

Support and Reinforce Appropriate Behavior

Acknowledging and rewarding our child’s good behavior reminds him of his strengths and increases his confidence that he can manage whatever the holiday throws at him. Our child may become the hit of the party if they read a book of riddles to family members. They may want to do magic tricks or offer some other special interest to family and friends. Reminding a child of his past successes will set him up to succeed this year.

Take it OneDay At A Time

Parents need to be realistic. We know our children struggle with being our of their routine and many of the events associated with the holidays. Acknowledge each little victory and do not “throw the baby out with the bath water”. Accept that there will be some challenging moments, however, do not get stuck on them, move past them. Each success builds upon each other, do not negate the successes by focusing on the negatives.

Suggestion: Do Not Let A Bad Moment Ruin The Entire Day or Holiday

Sensory Stimulation

We know that many of our children struggle with sensory issues. Holiday lights, music, and smells can quite easily lead to meltdowns and tantrums. Understand that these sensory issues are very real and can change the physiology of our children for the moment. These sensory rich items can be physically painful.

Suggestion: Try not to under estimate the severity of sensory input and irritation. Little things like; earplugs, sunglasses, and nose plugs can be useful. Allow our child to voice when a sensory rich environment is impacting them. Parents that are extra observant of how our children are impacted by sensory stimulus can act proactively and not overreact.

Involve Our Child in Activities

Build happy memories by including our child to help cook the holiday meal, create and put up decorations, greet family or friends, deliver snacks or drinks, or wrap packages. Such activities strengthen the bond between our child, families, friends, siblings, and peers.

As all of our children are unique individuals, the suggestions made here should be adjusted to best fit your specific situation.

Wishing you all a wonderful holiday season, Dr. Eric Nach

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Avoiding Holiday Meltdowns: Part One

Avoiding Holiday Meltdowns: Help for Our Children with "Perceptual Challenges"

Help for Our Children with “Perceptual Challenges”
Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed.

Several ways for parents to help their children with “special needs” enjoy holiday festivities without flare-ups and melt-downs.

The holiday season can be stressful for our children, teens, and young adults with ADHD, Autism, Asperger’s, and other special needs. Traveling and visiting relatives and friends may interrupt their day-to-day routines, and all the excitement can be overwhelming to those kids with “sensory” issues.

Follow some of these user friendly strategies to prevent holiday “blowouts” to help keep your kids feeling “grounded” and create happier memories this holiday season:

Planing Ahead with Your Child

During the holidays, routine and structure maybe greatly disrupted: Having to tolerate traveling for long periods of time by car, train, or plane; sitting politely at the dinner table for extended periods; a disruption to their eating and sleep schedule. Planning for these disruptions in routine is helpful for our children, siblings, and parents.

Include our child in creating a schedule of how the days will be spent, taking as many factors into account — parties, decorating, visiting relatives, preparing holiday treats, travel time, other people’s pets — and set up a schedule, building flexibility into it in case our child needs downtime, including some alone time.

Sketch out each phase of the holidays, including all “free” time when our child may be expected to play with other children or relatives. Now, given what you know about your son or daughter, note the activities that may be a problem for him or her.Make adjustments to the schedule if necessary, and discuss with our child the following coping strategies that may be found most acceptable.

Suggestion: If your son or daughter is on medication, talk with your prescribing doctor about possible modifications to their medication protocol during the holiday season to account for heightened anxiety, irritability, or other issues. Modifying medication may improve our child’s enjoyment of the season during this high-energy and stressful period.

Teach Self-Monitoring

Providing our child some tools for self-monitoring their emotional fluctuations can prevent an overreaction from becoming a temper tantrum. By becoming aware when they start to get anxious or frustrated or overly excited they can use techniques such as yoga, breathing exercises, taking a walk, or talking with an understanding sibling or family member, can help a child who is lit-up by a highly charged atmosphere. Also, give our child some verbal cues to keep them in a positive state of mind.

SSuggestions: When facing a crowd at a friend’s or relative’s house or the task of sitting politely at the table, whisper to him or her, “I know you can do this”, promise a valued reward for success, and do not be confrontational should they show signs of stress.

Practice Relaxation Techniques

Some of our children need to practice self-monitoring and calming down at home before the holiday festivities begin. Rehearsing the “stop, relax, think” technique with a child, by modeling or role-playing a scenario that has given them trouble in the past are excellent strategies. You can teach our child to “stop and think, before reacting” or ask for help at the onset of uneasiness.

Suggestion:To minimize conflicts with siblings, peers, and others encourage our child to bring along a game or toy. Whenever possible, “buddy-up” our child with an tolerant, accepted peer or sibling.

As all of our children are unique individuals, the suggestions made here should be adjusted to best fit your specific situation.

Wishing you all a wonderful holiday season, Dr. Eric Nach

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How to Develop Healthy Social Relationships

Free workshop for parents of children with Special needs

Speaker: Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed, A.S.D.c.

When: Monday December 8, 2014 from 7:00-8:30pm

Where: SSGC, 5458 Town Center Rd., Suite#8 Boca Raton, FL 33486

RSVP: 561-990-7305 or paula@SupportForStudentsGrowthCenter.com

Light refreshments will be served.

Note: You are invited to bring a friend or two, please no children to this event.

Seating is very limited, SO RSVP now!

Click to Download a Flyer

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ESE Advisory Council’s Annual Fall Family Forum

The School District Palm Beach Counsel

ESE Advisory Council’s Annual Fall Family Forum

Navigating The ESE System Thursday

November 13, 2014 from 5:00 to 8:00 pm

Santaluces Community High School
6880 Lawrence Road, Lantana, FL 33462

To register, please call:
Ms. Marilyn Segura-Orozco at (561) 434-8740, or email: eseadvisorycouncil@gmail.com

Click to Download ESE Fall Family Forum Flyer 2014

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How to take the "rivalry" out of "sibling rivalry" when you have a child with special needs

Free Presentation for Parents of Children with Special Needs:

How to take the “rivalry” out of “sibling rivalry” when you have a child with special needs

Speaker: Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D.c.

When: Monday November 10th, 2014 from 7:00-8:30p

The Support For Students Growth Center
SSGC, 5458 Town Center Rd., Suite #7,
Boca Raton, FL 33486
P: (561) 990-7305
RSVP:
paula@SupportForStudentsGrowthCenter.com

Light refreshments will be served.

Note: You are invited to bring a friend or two, please no children to this event.

Seating is very limited, so RSVP now!

Click to Download Flyer

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Goal Setting for Kids

Goal Setting for Kids is essential for building a successful life. However, teaching kids how to set and achieve goals is not part of most school curriculums, nor is it taught in most homes. Many parents never learned the techniques of goal setting, and are still struggling with their own. You don’t need to know it all. While you develop your own goal-setting skills, you can also be helping and encouraging your children to develop theirs. Goal setting is a life-long skill. It helps your child to focus their unique gifts and talents, it helps to cultivate and strengthening your child’s self-worth, and equips them to lead a life full of meaning purpose, and direction, regardless of the professional or personal paths they choose.

Things to consider when setting goals with your kids:

  • CAREER – school grades, skill development, future plan (ambition); PERSONAL- character development, and personal growth (self-image, sense of responsibility, ability, sefl-esteem), appearance
  • HEALTH – exercise, diet, over-all well-being, balance
  • COMMUNITY – commitment to serving others (volunteer work)
  • FINANCIAL – understanding the value of money, earning, saving
  • FRIENDS – expanding their circle of friends, choosing friends wisely HOUSEHOLD – chores, contribution to building home life
  • RECREATION – hobbies, relaxation, fun activities (movies, parties, etc.)

Things to remember when goal setting for kids – Expect resistance; Be firm; Look for performance, not perfection; Kids need to see the end before they begin (incentive – what will happen if…); Kids need rewards; Kids need praise.

Results As kids learn how to set goals and experience the difference goal setting makes in their personal destinies, it will encourage them to take action. They will begin to create lives for themselves that they want and “Dare to live their Dreams!” As your kids become more aware of greater possibilities in their lives, and tap into their respective talents they will develop a stronger sense of self and of their contribution to society.

Author:

Cecile Peterkin is the President and Founder of Cosmic Coaching Centre, and publishes “Recipes for Success”, a Free monthly ezine on living your best life both personally and professionally. Cecile is a certified Career Coach and Retirement Coach and Speaker. She helps Middle Managers overcome the “Middle Syndrome” of being stuck in a middle position in mid-life.

http://www.articlesfactory.com/articles/family/goal-setting-for-kids.html

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Reassuring the Nervous Child

Reassuring the Nervous Child

Nervousness is a part of life. Pressure produces a great deal of anxiety, which fires up all our physiological systems. Our heart races, our skin sweats, our tummy agitates, and our blood pounds. In spite of our imprudent views as adults that kids have very little to be worried about, they too have many and inconsistent external demands on their time and internal awareness of themselves that push them to do well and achieve at all cost.

Nervousness is usually used to describe an answer to a specific circumstance. Nervousness is often used when a situation that reminds these feelings is more unclear or continuing. Some kids are more prone to nervousness than others, often both because they respond more sturdily physiologically to a situation and because they don’t yet have the coping skills other kids their age have developed to help them de-escalate their feelings. However, there are ways of helping even very young kids exceed feelings of worry. Here are some tips by early childhood education.

  • Watch your own response to worrying situations. We’re all aware of how children and preschoolers look to us to learn what their responses should be. Older kids take their signs from us as well. Learn to cool yourself and respond as kindly as possible in your day-to-day life, and you will be suppressing the nervousness in your kids also
  • Give choices and encourage self-control. Kids who feel in charge of various areas of their lives are less likely to feel weak in general, and constant helplessness is a main ingredient to a generalized feeling of nervousness. Encouraging even small steps towards decision-making and following through adds infinitely toward a sense of control and soothe in the surroundings
  • Establish expected routines. It is comforting for kids if their lives follow some sort of expected schedule. That doesn’t mean being stiff no matter what, but if bedtime and bath time and wakeup time and dinner time usually follow a certain routine, most kids will find that reassuring
  • Use eagerness to help suppress fretfulness. Let kids know ahead of time when the custom will differ. It helps to know earlier that you’ll be making a visit to the fire station as part of a class field trip, for example, rather than spending the whole day at school. However, don’t notify young kids too far in advance. Their elastic sense of time could lead to more nervousness if the future situations being discussed are mentioned too far ahead
  • Encourage capability. Feeling truly good at something helps cool the jitters when you’re faced with something else you’re not sure you’re good at. Capability breeds self-confidence, and confidence helps to win over worry
  • Teach relaxation techniques by teacher training course. Practice breath control, meditation, and mental picture techniques with your kids
  • Keep prospect realistic. Make sure that what you and your kids’ parents anticipate of them are things they can really achieve
  • Keep prospect realistic. Make sure that what you and your kids’ parents anticipate of them are things they can really achieve
  • Watch out for the symptoms of stress and anxiety. Few kids of any age will state that they’re under too much strain. Instead, you will notice a change in craving; despair; sleep problems; headaches; or clinginess
  • Know when to get outside help
About the Author:

Lizzie Milan holds Master’s in Psychology Degree. She was working as supervisor in diploma in teacher education. Currently, she is working as course co-ordinator for montessori course & pre primary teacher training course since last 20 years.

Photo Credit: Paula (Flickr) https://www.flickr.com/photos/morphicx/
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Time Management 101: Time Management For Families

Time Management 101: Time Management For Families

Successful time management results in successful stress management. And in today’s busy world, it’s especially important for families to find quality time to spend together. Discover 6 easy time management tips you can incorporate today. Teach your children to form good time management habits now so they’ll become better students…and better leaders!

“Successful time management results in successful stress management.” Colleen Kettenhofen

The following time management tips for families are the same ones I discussed as a featured guest on the television talk show A.M. Northwest. These are simple, basic, easy-to-follow time management tips for both parents and children. And they are the same time management tips that have worked for me in my business as a motivational speaker and author:

  1. Have white dry erase boards personalized for each person: Place one in the kitchen and one in each bedroom. The benefit of white boards in the kitchen and in each bedroom is that you and your kids will constantly see them and be reminded of what needs to be accomplished.
  2. Write down tasks with specific time frames for each parent and child: Set aside specific times and stick with them. For example, you would write on the white board, “Brandon and Chloe, homework 6:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.” And for the mom or dad, “Mom/Dad cook dinner 6:00 p.m. to 6:45 p.m.” and so forth. This way you are constantly reminded of what to do and when. You will get around to completing these tasks sooner rather than later because by “seeing” them all the time, you’ll want to cross them off your list. Erase the tasks after completing them so you no longer have to look at them!
  3. Color code for each family member: It’s easy to visualize who is supposed to do what when each individual has their own color. A lot of teams utilize this same technique in the workplace to help with time management.
  4. Clear off your desk or work area: This helps you and your kids to clear out clutter so you can concentrate single-mindedly on those projects such as paying bills or doing homework Time management rule number one: do the thing you like least first.
  5. Do the thing you like least first and plan a reward such as a fun family activity for afterward: We all have tasks that we have to do that we don’t want to do. It’s easy to procrastinate. Research points to the fact that the longer you procrastinate, the harder it is to get motivated. The hardest part is just getting started. And once you’re done, you feel so much better, lighter and happier. You and your family will feel deserving of a reward afterward such as fun time watching TV, playing games, or attending a Saturday picnic.
  6. Be a positive role model: Teach your children to form good time management habits from the beginning. When your kids see you as self-disciplined and overcoming procrastination by doing things you’d rather not, it reinforces that behavior in them as well. It sets them up later in life to be good parents themselves, and better leaders at school and in the workplace.

Keep in mind that everything you procrastinate today only compounds tomorrow’s pressure. Decide what you want. What tasks must be done in order for you and your family to accomplish your goalsFree Web Content, dreams and aspirations? Act now. Don’t wait another day. The future is now.

About the Author: Adam Waxler

Photo credit: Danielle Nelson (Flickr) https://www.flickr.com/photos/manyfires/

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Meaningful Social Skill Lessons for a Child With Autism

Children with Autism are very concrete and literal and we should not assume that they are picking up everything we do via watching or observing us. We need to be more mindful and deliberate when it comes to parenting a child with autism because they do not always absorb things just by being exposed to them. Realistically, there is much that is happening that is not being noticed unless we specifically point it out.

Meaningful-Social-Skill-Lessons

..there is no such thing as too much repetition for a child on the autism spectrum

–Connie Hammer, MSW

The best strategy for turning a social encounter into a meaningful learning experience for your autistic child is to call attention to the manner in which you relate to them and why. This is a simple yet effective way to expand your child’s social toolbox.

Here are some tips on how to make each interaction you have with your child more meaningful and useful:

  • Use the rewind button. After a typical social interaction you have with your child, rewind what you just did and replay it for them in slow motion. Ex. “Did you notice what I just did? I wanted to ask you a question so I made sure I was close to you instead of hollering from across the room.” Replay the scene using each approach and ask which one works best. For older children you can also get into a discussion of why that tactic was the better one to use.
  • Pretend you need help. All children like being asked to share their opinion – it makes them feel important. When you have time to think ahead, try involving your child in a social skill decision. “I want to ask your dad a question but he looks as if he is busy right now, what do you think I should do?” Then present two plausible options, one more socially acceptable than the other and ask your child what do you think will happen if I use option A, then examine option B.
  • Paint a picture of what you just did. “I wanted to make sure I had your attention so I leaned over and looked into your eyes.” Then follow up with a specific description of using that skill – “When you want to make sure someone is listening to you, it’s best to get in front of them and look at the color of their eyes.” Add any specific details that you think your child will need – in front of means an arms length away, not right up in their face, etc.
  • Point out your mistakes. Even as adults, not all of our interactions are successful but we often know where we went wrong. This is a great opportunity to share your experience with your child and prompt them to think about what you could have done differently. When asking their advice do not let too much time go by after you pose the question or make them feel pressured by it, simply fill in the answer for them and briefly discuss it, if possible.

Remember, there is no such thing as too much repetition for a child on the autism spectrum. It is always a good idea to end each one of these possible scenarios with a specific description regarding the social skill you are trying to teach and duplicate it as often as you think you need to in order for your child to grasp the skill.

There is always ample opportunity to practice most of these skills because they occur over and over again in our daily activities. The added benefit to this process is that we grow in awareness as to how we utilize our own social skills to communicate and get to practice them more consciously.

Additional Resources:

About the Author

Connie Hammer, MSW, parent educator, consultant and coach, guides parents of young children recently diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder to uncover abilities and change possibilities. Visit her website http://www.parentcoachingforautism.com to get your FREE resources – a parenting ecourse, Parenting a Child with Autism – 3 Secrets to Thrive and a weekly parenting tip newsletter, The Spectrum.

Photo Credit: Children at Risk Foundation (flickr)

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Recreation and leisure activates key component

Recreation and leisure activates key component - support for students growth center

Recreation and leisure activities are key components of community participation, but daily living skills such as cooking, hygiene, travel/mobility, money management and health care are also necessary for successful everyday functioning.

In my classroom we work on a functional life skills curriculum. This means that every lesson incorporates some form of necessary life skill for everyday living. For instance, if I want to teach my students math we may set up an area of the classroom like a grocery store. My students will be given fake money (it looks very similar to real money), they will find items from a picture/word list, and then purchase said items. They need to make sure that they have enough money to purchase the items on the list. He students love this lesson because it seems more like a game. Another math lesson I do is incorporated into cooking instruction. One day we made tacos. The students needed to count all of the shells to make sure there were at least two per student. Then, they needed to measure and/or weigh all of the ingredients. After making the meat mixture, they needed to properly divide it among all of the taco shells.

There are many ways of incorporating functional life skills into academic lesson plans. I believe that all of the skills worked on in the classroom are only effective if they are reinforced at home.

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