The Harm in Helicopter Parenting

Helicopter parenting is a style of parenting where a parent gets overly involved in their child’s life. For such parents, keeping a close eye on every activity of their child is a way of showing them love and ensuring that they turn out well later in life. However, this kind of parenting has been discouraged by experts with a majority advocating for a balance between being protective and allowing children to experience some independence. Even so, some parents still prefer to engage in helicopter parenting resulting in their children facing challenges later in life. Some of the common shortcomings of helicopter parenting include:

Dependence on parents

Majority of helicopter parents do everything for their children regardless of age, resulting in over-dependence. It is common to find mundane tasks such as making their bed or even clearing the table is done by the parents so as to avoid tiring the child. However, these actions tend to make the child lazy and unsure of doing anything without the assistance of their parents – now or in the future. Also, they may feel afraid to attempt anything new without the approval of their parents to avoid disappointing them.

Poor parent-child relationship

Even though parents that get over involved in the life of their children do it out of love, it usually backfires when they face rejection. The main reason for the deterioration of their relationship with their parents is the constant follow-ups and inquiries on their whereabouts which make them feel like their every move is being monitored. Children that feel like they are being constantly watched often harbor ill feelings towards their parents; feelings that can develop into hate over time. In some cases, they start to pull away causing a strain on the relationship that may take years to rebuild.

Inability to express oneself

It is common to find children that have been through helicopter parenting being unable to speak up when confronted with certain situations. They are usually the quiet ones that have to be prodded to give their opinion in a group setting and still have a hard time expressing themselves. If much older, they lack confidence in getting their point across with friends or in office meetings once they begin working. The main cause of their inability to deal with life’s challenges is due to the interference of parents whenever they had to defend themselves.

Lack of analytic skills

The ability to analyze a problem and come up with solutions to tackle it effectively is important for children and adults. However, if they are not allowed to face problems head on and solve them, they will lack a crucial survival skill in life. Unfortunately for children with helicopter parents, this is the norm as most of them have their problems solved on their behalf – thereby denying them the chance to be analytical.

Overall, helicopter parenting does more harm than good for younger children and teenagers. It is better to give them the developmental space they need so that they can grow into better adults that are independent and confident in their abilities.

Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D. Cert. Developmental and Behavioral Specialist and Associates

Info@SupportForStudentsGrowthCenter.com    www.SupportForStudentsGrowthCenter.com

Being Confident in a Group Setting

Confidence is an integral tool in human relationships; more so when it comes to interaction with other individuals in a group setting where teamwork is necessary. At Dr. Nach’s Online Resources for Innovative learning, we look into the various ways we can boost the individual’s confidence when it comes to such situations by changing the overall perception they have about themselves.

What causes lack of confidence?

Lack of confidence is caused by the general ignorance of people on issues about society and human behavior. Most times individuals don’t have a proper understanding of themselves or those around them and therefore can’t put their best foot forward in showing how good they are in fear of being judged. Individuals also lack the time and patience to exercise their social skills; skills that could undeniably have a positive impact on their confidence. Past events/experiences that were embarrassing or hurtful also tend to make individuals shy away in fear of a repeat and this makes them hide inside their ‘cocoon’.

What it takes to be confident in a group setting

1. Self Confidence

An individual has to believe that they are worthy of commanding respect from those surrounding them and that their opinions actually matter and shouldn’t be buried in their mental boxes.

2. Optimism

When in a group setting, pessimistic thoughts of not being liked or not being viewed as good enough have to be shunned. The first step to doing this is by changing the perception you may have of the group members. Keep an open mind about them and consider them a receptive and understanding audience right from the start.

3. Preparation

Preparation is of vital importance in boosting self-confidence as one eliminates the fear of having to talk about or perform a task that they are not well versed in. After meticulous preparation, one feels happy and efficient during the group activities as he/ she has the chance to contribute positively to the general activities of the group.

Courses & skills needed

Dr. Nach’s Online Resources for innovative learning offers comprehensive lessons that ensure an overall confidence boost. They include:

1. Dynamic Group performance
2. Beneficial Conflict Resolution Skills
3. Using Creative Problem Solving Strategies
4. Transitioning into College, High school, and beyond

At Dr. Nach’s Online Resources, you can also find many other lessons that teach you how to improve your interpersonal skills. These skills will further boost your self-confidence and enable you to engage in groups without holding back. Predesigned Course bundles are available or you can build your own bundle based on your particular needs.

Confidence in group settings should be natural for individuals as there is nothing to it besides the overall exchange of ideas and performance of tasks.

For more information about Dr. Nach’s Online Resources and how to enroll in our online lessons, visit our website at: http://drnachonline.com/

Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D. Cert. Developmental and Behavioral Specialist and Associates

Info@SupportForStudentsGrowthCenter.com    www.SupportForStudentsGrowthCenter.com

 

EFFECTIVE TIME MANAGEMENT TIPS

If you are a business owner or an executive moving up the corporate ladder, or a student trying to juggle school, work & a social life, time seems to be very limited. On the other hand you find yourself with seemingly unending tasks you have to complete on a daily basis. Without proper time management you can easily end up bogged down, distracted, inefficient and ultimately unproductive. This can seriously affect your chances of success and the pace at which you make progress. Here are tips you should use to effectively manage time and stay ahead of all your important tasks.

1. Work with far shorter deadlines than you are used to and stick to them

One thing that fuels procrastination is the illusion that you have more time in your hands to work on activities. To avoid this, create shorter deadlines to create a sense of urgency on the various tasks you need to complete. You should not struggle with perfection, as when you get the tasks done you will have adequate time to brush through the work. Shorter deadlines also allow you to fit more tasks in your daily schedule.

2. Schedule major tasks in your calendar well ahead before it gets crammed

Major tasks and events should always be scheduled before everything else. This will ensure smaller and unimportant tasks do not fill out your calendar and daily schedule. Waiting for a space of free time is an illusion especially for someone with several things to attend to. You should take charge of what you are doing by planning for the important and highly productive tasks first.

3. Avoid multi-tasking

Unlike what is generally ascribed to, multi-tasking has been found in numerous studies to be inefficient and highly unproductive. You use more time and do not complete any of the tasks to the required quality levels. This is because you are hardly concentrating but only dividing attention across all tasks.

4. Learn to delegate

You need to have a great talented team around you and empower them to be able to function with minimum support from you. Micro-managing the team highly affects your time schedules and the productivity of the whole department and business. Delegate all tasks that do not require your direct personal input and those outside your area of expertise. Learn how to effectively delegate to free up much of your time for more demanding tasks.

5. Save unimportant but time-sucking activities for the end of the day

All activities that need to be done but take most of your time should be set towards the end of the day. This allows you to focus more on the valuable and more productive tasks during the peak business hours. You can deal with social media and mails as well as return personal calls at the business end.

6. Establish a regular schedule for taking care of yourself

You need to discipline yourself to have enough time to unwind, eat well and exercise. To function at your optimum and be able to take control of the time you have, you should be mentally, physically and spiritually at ease.

For more information about Dr. Nach’s Online Resources and how to enroll, visit our website at: http://drnachonline.com/

 

Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D. Cert. Developmental and Behavioral Specialist and Associates

Info@SupportForStudentsGrowthCenter.com    www.SupportForStudentsGrowthCenter.com

What is Attention Management?

A distracted mind is less than effective. Individuals who do not or cannot pay attention to their work and goals can waste valuable time and make careless mistakes. Attention management is a useful skill that allows us to connect with our responsibilities on an emotional level and motivates us to focus on our work and how to reach one’s own personal and professional goals.

Attention management increases the ability to focus attention and can be done at the individual, group, and working level. In the workforce, managers are encouraged to deal with their own attention problems before trying to influence employees in their organization. Individuals should focus on their own attention concerns before trying to influence the attention of others around them. In order to understand attention management, people must be aware of where they focus most of their attention. Most experts divide attention into four different areas or zones. While the names change, the ideas are all the same.

Four Areas of Attention:

Intentional: When working intentionally, people plan strategically and prioritize their activities.

Responsive: In this area people are responding to the world around them. They spend more time putting out fires than working intentionally.

Interrupted: People spend too much time answering messages and handling situations that interrupt their work.

Unproductive:  This occurs when people waste time at school or work. Unless you are taking a scheduled break, checking social media sites and chatting is unproductive.

The advice “stop thinking” may seem counter intuitive to attention management. Many people, however, are over thinking everything and focused on the wrong ideas. When we constantly think, we do not pay attention to what is really going on around us. Our feelings control how and what we think. If we think that something is boring, bad, or a waste of time, we tend to give it less attention. For example, people are less likely to pay attention during a meeting if they believe it will not be productive. The ability to pay attention allows people to better connect with the world around them, better process their emotions, and organize the way they process cognitively.

Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D. Cert. Developmental and Behavioral Specialist and Associates

Info@SupportForStudentsGrowthCenter.com    www.SupportForStudentsGrowthCenter.com

Create a Stress-Free Holiday Season

Children who may be on the autism spectrum, have ADHD, or sensory issues may become overwhelmed by family gatherings and activities that come with the celebration of the “holiday season”.  The daily routine, so important to many of “our children”, is broken and the inability to “predict” what events will play out in a day can lead to behavior issues. Holiday decorations, lights, music, smells, foods, unfamiliar pets, loud conversations, cigarette smoke, perfume, hugs, and having strange people around are not exactly normal to their routine.  When you look at it all through “our child’s” eyes, it is understandable that they may struggle with the events of the holidays.

When preparing “our children” for the unpredictability of the holiday season, you want to start preparing them early and to practice for the new or out of the ordinary social experiences. I have been asked to provide parents with a brief overview of some of the therapy-based options, family-oriented ideas, and travel suggestions that you can implement when preparing your child for holiday festivities.  To follow is a partial list of ideas to consider and follow with fidelity that are sure to make this holiday season, a wonderful time for all.

Therapeutic Options

• Social stories can help prepare your child for any new or uncomfortable event. Find stories (using the internet, via books, or from professionals) that cover how to act during holiday activities such as parties, being around unfamiliar people and large dinner gatherings, or write your own personalized social stories (be sure to keep ALL of the verbiage positive).  These stories allow your child to visualize the out of the ordinary situations and see them in a positive light.
• Behavioral therapy can help your child deal with the behavior problems created by their perceptions and emotions.
• Your child may benefit from therapeutic social skills groups.  Children are encouraged to practice social situations with their peers (through role playing and modeling) as they are being taught by professional therapists how to generalize solutions to perceptual changes.
• It is not recommended to make medication changes during the holiday season, unless you are given specific directions to do so from your child’s providing physician. We want our children to remain as balanced as possible during the holiday season.

Family-based Ideas

• Make sure your child’s favorite foods and activities are included in the celebrations.  Any time you can add in their special interests or some of their limited favorite foods, you will increase their comfort level and the enjoyment of everyone around.
• L.T. Take precautions to minimize the chances that your child is (H) hungry, (A) angry, (L) lonely, or (T) tired. Any of these conditions by themselves is enough to heighten sensitivity and impair your child’s perception, which will impact everyone they come in contact with.
• For those holidays where gift giving is the norm, inform gift givers of your child’s specific interests and dislikes. If possible, parents can help other gift givers make appropriate gift choices. Some of “our children” are sensory sensitive to the texture and/or sound of items, whereas others are emotionally sensitive and will “react” poorly if they perceive they are being given a gift appropriate for a much younger child. Receiving unwanted items may even lead to a meltdown.
• Have an alternate plan for times where sensory issues become a problem. Anything from a quiet place to regroup or calm down, to planning to stay for only part of the time of the event, may be necessary.
• Virtually any parent who has a child with “perceptual and or “social challenges” knows the value of having not only “Plan A” and “Plan B”, but, “Plan C, D, E, and F”.
• Set your child up with a “buddy” during holiday festivities, the “buddy” can be a responsible sibling, cousin, or adult. Parents need to know the child is safe and hopefully enjoying themselves, while parents and others are entitled to a stress-free (or at least, reduced stress) holiday season.

Ideas for Traveling

• Parents would be wise to research the location the family is going and the means of transportation being taken to get there. Fortunately, today, many facilities and organizations understand about the “special needs” some of our children have.
• If your child has sensory issues such as sensitivity to noise, smell, touch, or lighting, see if you can reserve accommodation that are less stimulating to your child. Sunglasses, a hat, and earplugs may also be beneficial.
• If you are traveling by plane, ship, or train, you can inform the agency of the needs your child may experience and provide them with a “heads-up” of potential issues. Once again having “Plan A, B, C, and D” in place should greatly increase the level of holiday enjoyment for everyone involved.
• When sensory issues are involved, it can be worth bringing along your child’s normal bed sheets and pillows in case they find those in a hotel unpleasant. Any new clothes for the trip may need to washed several times if your child finds these ‘scratchy’ on the skin.
• The use of electronics (with headphones) has proven to be helpful to help “our children” so they become distracted from overly stimulating situations and have a method to relax.
• Some of our children are extremely comfortable on airplane’s, some are not. If your child has the potential to struggle with being confined on an airplane for hours, you may want to consider different options. You do have the option of boarding first, choosing special diets, and optimal seating. Service animals may also be an option for your family.

There are parent support groups and therapeutic service providers who can serve as valuable assets to having a wonderful holiday season. Don’t just leave this to chance, prepare and you will be rewarded.

Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D. Certified Developmental and Behavioral Specialist and Associates

Support for Students Growth Center Website: https://www.supportforstudentsgrowthcenter.com

Dr. Nach’s Online Resources Website: https://drnachonline.com