Important Life Social Skills – Friendship, Self-Control and Problem Solving

Learning Self-Control

The ability to regulate ones emotions is an important but hard skill for some children to develop. However this skill’s is essential if children are to develop friendships and to be accepted by others. Other children tend to steer clear of peers who can’t manage their emotions – be it the child who cries over small issues or who get angry when things don’t go their way… One way to help your child keep cool: Urge him to take a break – breathe deeply or take a drink of water – whenever emotions rise. Secondly encourage your child to express their emotions in an acceptable way. Talk about your own emotions (“I’m so frustrated: I can’t find bag!”) and label your child’s emotions (“You look disappointed”). Eventually your child will be able to express his own feelings and have an easier time reading the feelings of others, too. Basically you are becoming an emotional coach for your child. Essentially you are skilling your child up in recognizing and labeling emotions and teaching strategies to manage them better.

Encourage Problem Solving Skills

There are a number of school yard behaviors that will ostracize children if the child frequently engages in such behaviors. Such difficult behaviors include frequent complaining, ‘dobbing’ or ‘telling on’ other children, lying or making a fuss over small difficulties in interactions. To manage and reduce such behaviors it is important to help your child to learn the difference between a small deal (someone jumps in front of you in line) and a big deal (an older child threatens you or physically hurts you). With big problems you seek help; with little problems, you work it out.

It is also important for your child to develop coping skills which will facilitate the development of resilience in them. Finally, you can remind your child that every problem has several solutions. For example, if your child is teased, you can ask him if he can think of ways to respond. Some possibilities: Walk away. Or teach your child to respond confidently to the other child, by saying “Stop talking like that.”

Promote Skills in Learning How to Give and Take in Interactions

The ability to learn how to be reciprocal is essential in any friendship. Being reciprocal is basically learning how to ‘give and take’ in an interaction and in friendships. One strategy to help children develop reciprocity is to ‘model reciprocity’.

It is important that children observe reciprocity in the interactions around them. Show them ‘sharing’ (“Anyone wants some of my lollies?”), turn taking (“You can use the bike first”) and the art of conversational give-and-take (“How’d you like Superman? What was the best part?”). Listening to your child can be hard, especially if you’re harried and have several children, but it really helps to spend even 15 minutes a night listening to them, conversing and being fully present.

It also helps to “catch” kids when they’re being considerate. It is important to emphasize the internal rewards that come with thinking of others and how it makes other feel.

Additional Rescources:

About the Author – Jon Don http://www.ausbusiness.net
Photo Credit: Marvin Fox Photography https://www.flickr.com/photos/foxmarvin/

Children who may be on the autism spectrum, have ADHD, or sensory issues may become overwhelmed by family gatherings and activities that come with the celebration of the “holiday season”.  The daily routine, so important to many of “our children”, is broken and the inability to “predict” what events will play out in a day can lead to behavior issues. Holiday decorations, lights, music, smells, foods, unfamiliar pets, loud conversations, cigarette smoke, perfume, hugs, and having strange people around are not exactly normal to their routine.  When you look at it all through “our child’s” eyes, it is understandable that they may struggle with the events of the holidays.

When preparing “our children” for the unpredictability of the holiday season, you want to start preparing them early and to practice for the new or out of the ordinary social experiences. I have been asked to provide parents with a brief overview of some of the therapy-based options, family-oriented ideas, and travel suggestions that you can implement when preparing your child for holiday festivities.  To follow is a partial list of ideas to consider and follow with fidelity that are sure to make this holiday season, a wonderful time for all.

Therapeutic Options

  • Social stories can help prepare your child for any new or uncomfortable event. Find stories (using the internet, via books, or from professionals) that cover how to act during holiday activities such as parties, being around unfamiliar people and large dinner gatherings, or write your own personalized social stories (be sure to keep ALL of the verbiage positive).  These stories allow your child to visualize the out of the ordinary situations and see them in a positive light.
  • Behavioral therapy can help your child deal with the behavior problems created by their perceptions and emotions.
  • Your child may benefit from therapeutic social skills groups.  Children are encouraged to practice social situations with their peers (through role playing and modeling) as they are being taught by professional therapists how to generalize solutions to perceptual changes.
  • It is not recommended to make medication changes during the holiday season, unless you are given specific directions to do so from your child’s providing physician. We want our children to remain as balanced as possible during the holiday season.

Family-based Ideas

  • Make sure your child’s favorite foods and activities are included in the celebrations.  Any time you can add in their special interests or some of their limited favorite foods, you will increase their comfort level and the enjoyment of everyone around.
  • A.L.T. Take precautions to minimize the chances that your child is (H) hungry, (A) angry, (L) lonely, or (T) tired. Any of these conditions by themselves is enough to heighten sensitivity and impair your child’s perception, which will impact everyone they come in contact with.
  • For those holidays where gift giving is the norm, inform gift givers of your child’s specific interests and dislikes. If possible, parents can help other gift givers make appropriate gift choices. Some of “our children” are sensory sensitive to the texture and/or sound of items, whereas others are emotionally sensitive and will “react” poorly if they perceive they are being given a gift appropriate for a much younger child. Receiving unwanted items may even lead to a meltdown.
  • Have an alternate plan for times where sensory issues become a problem. Anything from a quiet place to regroup or calm down, to planning to stay for only part of the time of the event, may be necessary.
  • Virtually any parent who has a child with “perceptual and or “social challenges” knows the value of having not only “Plan A” and “Plan B”, but, “Plan C, D, E, and F”.
  • Set your child up with a “buddy” during holiday festivities, the “buddy” can be a responsible sibling, cousin, or adult. Parents need to know the child is safe and hopefully enjoying themselves, while parents and others are entitled to a stress-free (or at least, reduced stress) holiday season.

Ideas for Traveling

  • Parents would be wise to research the location the family is going and the means of transportation being taken to get there. Fortunately, today, many facilities and organizations understand about the “special needs” some of our children have.
  • If your child has sensory issues such as sensitivity to noise, smell, touch, or lighting, see if you can reserve accommodation that are less stimulating to your child. Sunglasses, a hat, and earplugs may also be beneficial.
  • If you are traveling by plane, ship, or train, you can inform the agency of the needs your child may experience and provide them with a “heads-up” of potential issues. Once again having “Plan A, B, C, and D” in place should greatly increase the level of holiday enjoyment for everyone involved.
  • When sensory issues are involved, it can be worth bringing along your child’s normal bed sheets and pillows in case they find those in a hotel unpleasant. Any new clothes for the trip may need to washed several times if your child finds these ‘scratchy’ on the skin.
  • The use of electronics (with headphones) has proven to be helpful to help “our children” so they become distracted from overly stimulating situations and have a method to relax.
  • Some of our children are extremely comfortable on airplane’s, some are not. If your child has the potential to struggle with being confined on an airplane for hours, you may want to consider different options. You do have the option of boarding first, choosing special diets, and optimal seating. Service animals may also be an option for your family.

There are parent support groups and therapeutic service providers who can serve as valuable assets to having a wonderful holiday season. Don’t just leave this to chance, prepare and you will be rewarded.

 

Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D. Certified Developmental and Behavioral Specialist

For more information about our online “student success” courses visit our website at: https://drnachonline.com/

For more information about the services available at the Support for Students Growth Center in Boca Raton, FL, visit our website at: https://www.supportforstudentsgrowthcenter.com

Follow us on social media as well @

https://www.facebook.com/NachAcademy
https://twitter.com/NachAcademy

Ah, I love Thanksgiving. It’s the perfect time to think about what we are thankful for and take inventory of our lives. You might have already started counting your blessings but if you’ve gotten lost in holiday shenanigans, I invite you to start now:

What are you really thankful for?

It can be something that you usually take for granted or something big that happened this year. Gratitude is gratitude. Plus, if you need even more of an incentive to be grateful, take a look at what you have been able to do to help others this past year.

Also, remember some family and friends may not have Thanksgiving plans… I’d encourage you to reach out and invite them to your celebration. Being alone during the holidays can be very lonely and difficult. Payton (Eloise’s young daughter) felt destroyed when her friends didn’t invite her for Halloween plans… imagine how adults feel without anywhere to go for the holidays.

Thanksgiving often comes with some family drama. Instead, be proactive and decide that you will have a different perspective. Understand that no one is perfect. The annoying parent that seems to only “criticize” you? They might just be really scared and doing the best they can. Try to empathize with the path they have taken in life to arrive at the place they are. Perhaps they only know negativity. Show compassion through your own positivity.

Wondering what the heck you are going to do with the kids the entire vacation? Rest and relax! Sleep in, make a mess, let the kids come in your bed for snuggles. You will miss this time in a few years. Do things that your normal schedule wouldn’t allow. for. Bake, sing loudly, dance, play. Enjoy the togetherness of family time. It’s a beautiful blessing. If you have a toddler that screams and throws temper tantrums (or a teen that does the same), take this opportunity to do some behavior modification techniques while you have the time to devote.
Finally, relax and enjoy the blessings of life and family.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Written by Elise Montgomery and adapted by Dr. Eric Nach

Elise Montgomerie is a certified life coach that specializes in family relationships. 561-289-2480

lets-go-bowling

Tips to Help Keep Children with “Special Needs” Safe and Have Fun This Halloween

Halloween is approaching quickly, which means ghosts and goblins will be trick-or-treating in our local neighborhoods. During this fun holiday we also need to keep our children safe from harm and injury while trick-or-treating. Here are some suggestions to make the most out of the Halloween experience:

  • If the sensory rich experience is to much for “our children” plan a party at home that is more sensory friendly.
  • You can practice trick or treating with your child in the days leading up to Halloween. He could knock on the door to the bedroom, you could open it, and he would say “trick or treat!” Then you could give him a little toy or candy to put in his bag.
  • The most important thing is do what is fun for your child and don’t be too worried if a meltdown happens anyway.
  • If your child is not able to eat the types of treats typically given, have some of their favorite treats available, trade them the candy they can’t eat for the candy or other treats they can eat.
  • If your child can not adapt to the sensitivity of a costume, you can give him the option to just wear a funny or scary Halloween t-shirt.
  • Be sure costumes do not limit mobility or breathing.
  • Use only flame resistant costumes
  • Have the child try on and wear the costume on different days prior to Halloween to make sure they are not sensitive to it.
  • Trick-or-treaters in costumes need to be able to see and be seen. Do not use costumes that impact any of “our child’s” senses.
  • Give them a flashlight to light their way and reflective tape on costumes or trick-or-treat bags to help them be seen. Keep in mind that the sun sets around 6:30pm on Halloween evening.
  • Make sure that child’s vision will not be obscured by masks or headpieces, you may want to choose face paint instead of a mask.
  • Be cautious around animals, especially dogs that can be frightened by costumes and unexpected guests coming up to their house.
  • Stay in neighborhoods you are familiar with. Visit homes that have the exterior lights on and only accept treats at the door, never enter a stranger’s home.
  • Parents and older siblings should set a positive example. Walk on sidewalks, if available. If not, walk on the edge of the roadway, facing oncoming traffic. Always look both ways before crossing the street and cross at corners or traffic signals when possible.
  • Bring bottled water for trick-or-treaters. It’s still hot in Florida, and wearing warm costumes could overheat children.
  • Travel in groups and encourage parents to walk children door to door while trick-or-treating.
  • Always check children’s treats before they eat them. Discard anything that looks like it has been unwrapped or tampered with.
  • For those who may not be able to say Trick or Treat, make cards or a sign expressing what they would like to say
  • Halloween should be fun for everyone participating, if trick or treating is not fun for your child, substitute it
    with a preferred activity that is fun for them. It is ok.

Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D. Certified Developmental and Behavioral Specialist

For more information about our online “student success” courses visit our website at: https://drnachonline.com/

For more information about the services available at the Support for Students Growth Center in Boca Raton, FL, visit our website at:

https://www.supportforstudentsgrowthcenter.com

Follow us on social media as well @

https://www.facebook.com/NachAcademy

https://twitter.com/NachAcademy

winter break camp 2017 18

successful relationships

Creatures of Habit
by Dr. Eric Nach

Most of our children are “creatures of habit”. They develop systems for coping with their lives that make sense to them. When their routines are interrupted they may act out in overt (outward) or covert (not so obvious) ways. Regardless of whether they yell, scream, act confrontational, or shut-down, we want to help them resume life ASAP.
So what can parents and others do to help their children get back into routine after experiencing a hurricane or other traumatic event? I anticipate you may find some of my “top ten list” useful.

  1. Set a date for you and your child to go through their backpack and make sure their papers are organized. Read through the last couple school days class notes with them to help them get into the mindset of school once again.
  2. With your child, clean-up and organize the areas they do their schoolwork in.
  3. At least a couple days before school resumes reset bedtime and waking up time to prepare for a return to a regular school schedule.
  4. A few days before school resumes set time aside from your child’s’ day to read or do some school work, increase the amount of time each day to closely resemble time typically spent doing homework or studying.
  5. After school resumes, be sure to give your child a limited amount of time to regroup after school before starting homework. Some form of physical activity, for 20-40 minutes tends to work best. I suggest avoiding “screen time” as an activity to wind down, as the use of their screens actually stimulates not relaxes them.
  6. Resume morning routines before school resumes, practice waking, grooming, breakfast routines and other morning rituals for the entire family, don’t forget about caring for your pets.
  7. Make sure school clothes are clean and ready to go, if they were damaged due to a hurricane or other catastrophic event, have substitute clothing prepared and send a note to the teacher with your child explaining the clothing situation.
  8. Once school resumes, spend a little extra time the first week going over assignments and helping your child become and stay organized.
  9. Odds are your child has been spending more time engaging in screen time than usual, start to wind down. Remember, professionals recommend no screen time at least one hour before bedtime (it is too stimulating). I recommend children under 16, shutting phones off and giving to parents before bedtime.
  10. Listen to and observe your child for signs of difficulties adjusting back into routine. Consult professionals if you suspect prolonged difficulties with adjusting back into routine. Resume after school activities such as sports, hobbies, therapies, and social groups.

Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D. Certified
Developmental and Behavioral Specialist

For more information about our online “student success” courses visit our website at: https://drnachonline.com/

For more information about the services available at the Support for Students Growth Center in Boca Raton, FL, visit our website at: https://www.supportforstudentsgrowthcenter.com

Follow us on social media as well @

https://www.facebook.com/NachAcademy

https://twitter.com/NachAcademy

How to Work Smarter

Those of us at the Support For Students Growth Center in Boca Raton, FL, are constantly helping students and others develop their skills to be a success in life. If you strive to be a business owner, an executive moving up the corporate ladder, or if you are a student trying to balance school, a social life, and perhaps a part-time job, there never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done. The reality is that you find yourself with seemingly unending tasks you have to plan for and complete on a daily basis. Without effective tools to establish and prioritize worthwhile goals, to navigate proper time management and interacting with groups of peers you can easily end up bogged down, distracted, inefficient, unproductive, alone, and ultimately unproductive. This can seriously affect your chances of being happy, successful and slow the pace at which you make progress. Here are tips you should use to effectively manage your time, set worthwhile goals and complete tasks, and be a functional part of dynamic and productive group of others looking to be high achievers.

Work with far shorter deadlines than you are used to and stick to them

One thing that fuels procrastination is the illusion that you have more time to work on activities. To avoid this, create shorter deadlines to create a sense of urgency on the various tasks you need to complete. You should not struggle with perfection, as when you get the tasks done you will have adequate time to brush through the work. Shorter deadlines also allow you to fit more tasks in your daily schedule.

Establish your priorities

In order to have time in your day to do the things you need to do and those tasks you really want to do, become expert in establishing your priorities. Quite often very well meaning people get distracted by the unimportant things. To prioritize like a pro: make a list of all your tasks, identify the most valued tasks, make a list of tasks from the most urgent to the least urgent, establish how much time should be used for each task, adapt to the unexpected, and know when to let something go that proves to not be as important as you once thought it might be.

Learn not to procrastinate

Most of us would prefer to eat our desert before our vegetables. Life experience has shown us that nothing will help us complete a task faster than by taking action. Overcome procrastination by doing the most difficult tasks first, chunk large projects into smaller, meaningful pieces, and just keep doing the next part. Delegate all tasks that do not require your direct personal input and those outside your area of expertise. Learn how to effectively delegate to free up your time for more demanding tasks.

Become a “Group Master”

Being an excellent listener is arguable the most valued trait of being a strong group leader. Those of us who are productive in groups are careful to pay attention to what others are saying so that we can be responsive to the group dynamics. Strong group members and leaders leave themselves open to constructive criticism and use this feedback as opportunities to better themselves.

Save unimportant but time-sucking activities for the end of the day

All activities that need to be done but take most of your time should be set towards the end of the day. This allows you to focus more on the valuable and more productive tasks during the peak business hours. You can deal with social media and mails as well as return personal calls at the business end.

Develop your executive functioning and soft skills

Being able to plan, organize, and complete tasks are essential executive functioning skills necessary to be productive in all aspects of your live. If you are deficit in any of your executive functioning skills, you know how challenging life can be. Reading articles about executive functioning, taking classes, and seeking professional assistance are some ways to enhance one’s executive functioning skills.

Having the “hard skills” is of little value without the “soft skills”

We go to school to learn the “hard skills”, how to do the math, how to read and write, how to do scientific activities. You need to be able to do the skills required to be a valued employee. If you want to be an accountant, you need to be able to do the math. However, many of you lack in the soft skills, the ability to deal with conflict in the workplace, how to manage your time, solve problems, knowing how to prioritize, and so on. Studies conclude that soft sills are just as valuable or more so than hard skills in predicting future success.

For the “tools” to be successful at enhancing your Executive Functioning and Soft Skills, check out our three online-course bundle at the NachAcademy.com now on special for only $49.

Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D. Certified

Developmental and Behavioral Specialist

For more information about our online “student success” courses visit our website at: https://drnachonline.com/

Learn How to Work Smarter

For more information about the services available at the Support for Students Growth Center in Boca Raton, FL, visit our website at: https://www.supportforstudentsgrowthcenter.com

Follow us on social media as well @

https://www.facebook.com/NachAcademy

https://twitter.com/NachAcademy

 

MANAGING DISTRACTIONS

When you or your child are finally ready to get some work done, you may find it impossible to focus on what you need to do. “Let me spend a few minutes on Facebook or listen to my favorite song on YouTube then get some psyche to do the work,” you tell yourself. Before you know it, 2 hours are gone and you haven’t even started doing the work. It happens to the best of us.

Good thing is, it doesn’t have to always be this way. There’s a lot that you can do to maintain focus, avoid distractions and finish what you had set out to do. Here’s how you can avoid distractions and get more done with little time.

Focus on the end goal

Knowing why you need to stay focused and achieve the work you set out to do every day is important. It gives you the strength to push through even when distracted. Do you want to learn a new computer program? Do you want to get the job done and make extra income? Are you contemplating quitting your job in order to work from home? Think about your vision/goals and it will help you to remain focused.

Breakdown tasks in order of importance

When you have more than ten tasks that you need to do in a day, there are definitely a few that are not as important as others. Only handle a few important tasks instead of taking on too much and giving up along the way. You’d rather accomplish less work than none at all because you set too high expectations.

Do tasks early

Don’t wait too long to start working on something. Do it as early in the day as you can. This will help to avoid the distractions that usually come in the middle of the day. It’s going to be harder to accomplish your goals when you don’t do the tasks as early as possible.

Maintain momentum

Sometimes taking breaks when working on something makes you lose momentum and you waste a lot of time before you get back on track. Work on smaller tasks that you can handle and finish before taking a break. This way, you will leave no room for distractions.

Focus on what you can do and skip what you don’t know

This usually helps you to finish up the work as fast as possible. You may realize that you spend so much time trying to figure out the difficult parts such that you end up losing focus entirely. Choose to work on the difficult area later and focus your attention on the areas that you can handle.

Stay away from distractions

Escape or get rid of external things that often distract you. If you’ll distracted by the TV, work in a different room. If there are kids or coworkers who often distract you, wake up early and do the work before everyone else comes. If you are often distracted by the internet, turn off the connection. This is possibly the simplest form of advice for getting your work done in less time. But many people overlook it.

Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D. Certified

Developmental and Behavioral Specialist

For more information about our online “student success” courses visit our website

at: https://drnachonline.com/

For more information about the services available at the Support for Students

Growth Center in Boca Raton, FL, visit our website at:

Follow us on social media as well @

https://www.facebook.com/NachAcademy