Bullying Does Not Always Occur in Person

Bullying Does Not Always Occur in Person

It is uncommon to see children, teens and young adults without some form of technology. From 6th grade on up it is surprising to see a person without a smartphone. Although technology has enhanced so many areas of our lives, for some children it can be another source for bullies to get to them. When many of us were growing up the term “cyberbullying” would have only been heard of in science fiction movies and shows. In today’s world, cyberbullying is rampant and young people who struggle with ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, anxiety, depression and more are easy targets because of their social and perceptual challenges.

Cyberbullying is often described as a form of bullying that happens online, through texts, or emails. One of the reasons for the increase is the lack of accountability, people are not face-to-face which makes gossip and criticism much easier to conduct. I am asked by young people and their families on a weekly basis how to handle this type of bullying. I thought it time to give a few suggestions to help those young people and families, with or without “special needs”, to repel bullies.

Parent and professionals alike can help young people:

  • Think about anything you want to post online and even have someone else check it out first.
  • Don’t assume that something you posted will be treated as confidential communication, we never know what others will forward.
  • Being kind to others online will help to keep you safe
  • Use common sense in what is shared, do not share anything that could be deemed hurtful or embarrassing to you or others.
  • NEVER give passwords to other young people, they can pretend to be you online and do serious damage to your reputation and credibility.
  • Do share your passwords with your parents or other trusted adult.
  • Only share posts with trusted friends, do not share a post with the entire Internet, there are people who are very good with acquiring critical information that can be used to harm others.
  • A stranger is anyone you do not know. An online acquaintance is not a friend, you only know what they want you to know about them.
  • Privacy settings let you control who sees what.
  • Children (those under 18) should not have unlimited access to the Internet or any “apps”.
  • Children (those under 18) should not have access to their phones or other technology after bedtime. Too many teens are staying up much of the night texting or on social media, unsupervised.
  • Parents talk to your children about cyberbullying and how they can prevent being cyber-victims.
  • If all else fails, parents seek professional help, the damage done by any type of bullying can and often does have life-long consequences for our children.

Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D. Certified
Developmental and Behavioral Specialist

For more information about the services available at the Support for Students Growth Center in Boca Raton, FL, visit our website at: https://www.supportforstudentsgrowthcenter.com

For more information about our online “executive functioning and soft skills student success” courses visit our website at: https://drnachonline.com/

Follow us on social media as well @
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Students with Deficits in Social Skills and Soft Skills are More Likely to be Bullied

Children, teens and adolescents who have weaknesses in their “social skills” and “soft skills” are walking around with a proverbial “bullseye” on their foreheads. Those children who are “different” from their peers tend to make easy targets for the bullies of the world. But do not give up hope, there is much we can do to help our children learn how to “repel bullies”.

Scientifically-based social and soft skills programs can help teach the skills our children may be missing, otherwise known as the “hidden curriculum”, those people skills not typically taught in school. Some of the key areas lacking are:

Interpersonal Skills which address how to effectively use direct, honest and appropriate expression of thoughts, feelings and behaviors in dealing with others.

Self-Esteem/Self-Concept a personal level of satisfaction with current attitudes, beliefs and general behavior. The ability to see one’s self for who they really are based on their own perception not the perception of others.

Empathy is the ability to sense, understand and accept another person’s thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Theory of Mind commonly thought of as the ability to understand the thoughts and intentions of others. In all my years of experience, I believe that much of the addiction to their “screens” phones, ipads, etc. is a result of Theory of Mind challenges where children do not see themselves fitting in with peers, so they find an alternate reality to participate in through their “screens”, while shutting out the “mean/cruel/stupid” world.

Self-Control Many of our children who are easy targets for bullies have challenges with being able to self-monitor their emotions and to self-regulate their emotions and behavior.

Conflict Resolution Children that tend to get bullied have a hard time advocating for themselves. This includes the process of resolving or finding a solution for some sort of disagreement, fight, or form of oppression.

Our social skills and soft skills courses can help your child become “bully- proof”, call today for free information.

Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D. Certified
Developmental and Behavioral Specialist

For more information about our online “student success” courses visit our website at: https://drnachonline.com/

For more information about the services available at the Support for Students Growth Center in Boca Raton, FL, visit our website at: https://www.supportforstudentsgrowthcenter.com

Follow us on social media as well @
https://www.facebook.com/NachAcademy
https://twitter.com/NachAcademy

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What Psychologists Need to Know About the Deficits in “Soft Skills” Development… Presented By Dr. Nach

The Miami-Dade-Monroe Chapter Of the Florida Psychological Association Invites You to Attend a Workshop

What Psychologists Need to Know About the Deficits in “Soft Skills” Development Experienced by Individuals with an Autism Spectrum Disorder

Presented by:
Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed.

Location:
Michael Ann Russell JCC, 18900 NE 25th Avenue
North Miami Beach, FL 33180

Date and Time:
Friday, February 16, 2018
8:30-9:00 Registration and Continental Breakfast
9:00-12:00 Workshop

3 CEs Provided / No Cost for MDMC Members / $50 for Guests
RSVP online at www.flapsych.com – Questions contact l.carbonell@mailppa.com

The Florida Psychological Association is approved by the Florida Department of Health, Board of Psychology and Board of School Psychology to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. The Florida Psychological Association is approved by the Florida Board of Clinical Social Work, Marriage and Family Therapy, and Mental Health Counseling as a provider of continuing education. The Florida Psychological Association maintains responsibility for the program and its content.

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ADD/ADHD: Differences, Not Deficits

People with ADD and ADHD have differences in their attention, and not deficits. This is an important distinction which helps with the understanding that there are gifts in ADD/ADHD.

ADD/ADHD: Differences, Not Deficits - Support for Students Growth Center

The term for the diagnosis of ADD/ADHD has changed multiple times. In 1980, the term ‘Attention Deficit Disorder’ came to be. It has changed slightly since then, but the field is relunctant to change it again because of how negative that would be (it could impact the advocacy and legislation that has been achieved through hard work).

People with ADD are often gifted with the ability to pay tremendous attention to things that are important to them. They have have a singular attention span which is far better than what ‘non-ADDers’ have if they use their natural gift of hyperfocus.To us this suggests a ‘difference’ in attention and not a ‘deficit’.

The term deficit itself refers to pathology and lack. Differences refers to just that- differences.

Recognizing this difference is important as we advocate for a change in the paradigm of ADD toward a strength based diagnosis. One which focuses on the gifts and differences, and not the lack and deficits.

It’s our contention that each and every ADD brain has genius in it. The definition of genius, as defined at Dictionary.com includes: gen-ius: – an exceptional natural capacity of intellect, especially as shown in creative and original work in science, art, music, etc.: the genius of Mozart. – natural ability or capacity; strong inclination: a special genius for leadership. – distinctive character or spirit By definition ‘ to be a genius ‘ one has to be different from others.

People with ADD are different and we contend that there is genius in each and every one of them.

Now people who might take issue with this statement will say that ADD affects people with different levels of intelligence. So, there are some people with superior IQ with ADD, and there are people with average IQ who have ADD, and there are people with low IQ who have ADD. Irrespective of the IQ level ‘ each person with ADD has genius inside.

The ADD brain has tremendous capacity for these aspects of genius:

  • Being unique: People with ADD often ‘march to the beat of their own drum’. They bring a unique perspective due to the fact that they are not ‘programmed’ to conform ‘ and their ability to maintain their unique nature can lead to many gifts throughout life (when it’s nurtured appropriately)
  • High levels of creativity: when the ADD mind receives information ‘ it manipulates that information differently. This leads to high levels of creativity.
  • Insightful: When using information differently than non-ADD people, ADD’ers develop significant and useful insights
  • Direct: people with ADD can be very direct, to the point and on target. This can be ‘too much’ for people without ADD to handle ‘ as they aren’t used to information being presented so directly and accurately
  • Quick to act: While many people suffer from ‘paralysis of analysis’, the ADD mind is quick to take action and experiment ‘ hence the belief that geniuses like Edison had ADD
  • Can look at the same thing differently than others: As alluded to above ‘ someone with ADD can look at the same material as others and see very different things and draw very different conclusions
  • Interpersonally intuitive: The powers of observation of those with ADD can be very strong, and their intuition particularly powerful. This can be a challenge for others who don’t recognize this as a gift ‘ and it can be perceived as a lack of ‘tact’.

These traits, and many others ‘ lead to the gifts of ADDScience Articles, and the genius that’s inside.

About the Author

Dr. Kenny Handelman is a Board Certified Psychiatrist in Canada and the USA. He is an expert in ADD and ADHD. His goal is to help people to improve their lives by finding the right options and information.

Photo Credit: Abdüs (flickr)

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Critical Info

Mini-White Paper on the Compared Value of “Therapeutic Social Skills Program” to Public School Offered “Social Skills” Classes

Problem: Parents may be responding to no-charge, school-based social skills services as though they should be the only social skills training/therapy their children receive.

What do schools really provide as “social skills services”?

  • Classes can be as high as a 24-1 teacher to student ratio
  • The difference in student abilities in each class are often substantial
  • No parent support
  • Basic curriculum that is not unique to the individual students needs
  • Class time is often used for HW and make up work and testing
  • Mostly bachelors level teachers, few with specialized certifications
  • Students experience social stigma of being in a “special class”
  • School oriented skills are primarily taught, students are rarely taught other critical life skills
  • Classes often composed of students on the autism spectrum and with severe behavior disorders

Solution:

At the Support for Students Growth Center, we offer more than 12 year-round Therapeutic Social Skills Groups that meet weekly. Group placement is based on the age, ability, and needs of the children, teens, and young adults. We are a team of PhD and Master level educators, counselors and therapists who are experts in the field of: Learning Disabilities, ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorders including Asperger’s Syndrome, Anxiety, Depression, NVLD, OCD, ODD, and adjustment issues.

Eric J. Nach, PhD, MEd, ASDc
Support For Students Growth Center
5458 Town Center Rd, Suite #7
Boca Raton, FL 33486 561-990-7305(Boca office)
DrNach@SupportForStudentsGrowthCenter.com
SupportForStudentsGrowthCenter.com

What do participants receive in our Scientifically-based Therapeutic Social Skills Program?

  • 3-1 Counselor to child ratio (no paraprofessionals/ student
    teachers/observers)
  • Highly structured group and setting
  • Over 12 groups weekly, placement based on age, ability, and needs
  • Unique groups to serve the needs of those with ADHD, Asperger’s, high functioning autism, Learning Disabilities, Language Disorders, OCD, ODD, anxiety, depression, and more…
  • FL Certified, Masters and PhD level Special Ed. Teachers and counselors facilitate groups
  • Highly trained staff, various backgrounds, multiple years working together
  • “Weekly Topic Updates” for parents each week. These updates discuss the targeted topic of the week, cause of difficulty, and suggestions for generalization
  • Free monthly parent workshops, on relevant topics, by Dr Eric Nach, PhD
  • Affiliated with CARD, CHADD, FAU and LYNN Universities
  • Expertise in secondary issues (anxiety, depression, learning disabilities, and ADHD)
  • Hi-tech infused lessons and activities
  • Over 100 modifiable proprietary research inspired lessons offered
  • Experts in generalization of targeted skills
  • Targeting: “survival skills, interpersonal skills, intrapersonal skills, problem solving skills, and conflict resolution skills”
  • Provide performance feedback
  • Emphasize the learning, performance, generalization, and maintenance of targeted behaviors
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Social Skills – Friendship, Self-Control & Problem Solving

Important Life Social Skills – Friendship, Self-Control and Problem Solving

Learning Self-Control

The ability to regulate ones emotions is an important but hard skill for some children to develop. However this skill’s is essential if children are to develop friendships and to be accepted by others. Other children tend to steer clear of peers who can’t manage their emotions – be it the child who cries over small issues or who get angry when things don’t go their way… One way to help your child keep cool: Urge him to take a break – breathe deeply or take a drink of water – whenever emotions rise. Secondly encourage your child to express their emotions in an acceptable way. Talk about your own emotions (“I’m so frustrated: I can’t find bag!”) and label your child’s emotions (“You look disappointed”). Eventually your child will be able to express his own feelings and have an easier time reading the feelings of others, too. Basically you are becoming an emotional coach for your child. Essentially you are skilling your child up in recognizing and labeling emotions and teaching strategies to manage them better.

Encourage Problem Solving Skills

There are a number of school yard behaviors that will ostracize children if the child frequently engages in such behaviors. Such difficult behaviors include frequent complaining, ‘dobbing’ or ‘telling on’ other children, lying or making a fuss over small difficulties in interactions. To manage and reduce such behaviors it is important to help your child to learn the difference between a small deal (someone jumps in front of you in line) and a big deal (an older child threatens you or physically hurts you). With big problems you seek help; with little problems, you work it out.

It is also important for your child to develop coping skills which will facilitate the development of resilience in them. Finally, you can remind your child that every problem has several solutions. For example, if your child is teased, you can ask him if he can think of ways to respond. Some possibilities: Walk away. Or teach your child to respond confidently to the other child, by saying “Stop talking like that.”

Promote Skills in Learning How to Give and Take in Interactions

The ability to learn how to be reciprocal is essential in any friendship. Being reciprocal is basically learning how to ‘give and take’ in an interaction and in friendships. One strategy to help children develop reciprocity is to ‘model reciprocity’.

It is important that children observe reciprocity in the interactions around them. Show them ‘sharing’ (“Anyone wants some of my lollies?”), turn taking (“You can use the bike first”) and the art of conversational give-and-take (“How’d you like Superman? What was the best part?”). Listening to your child can be hard, especially if you’re harried and have several children, but it really helps to spend even 15 minutes a night listening to them, conversing and being fully present.

It also helps to “catch” kids when they’re being considerate. It is important to emphasize the internal rewards that come with thinking of others and how it makes other feel.

Additional Rescources:

About the Author – Jon Don http://www.ausbusiness.net
Photo Credit: Marvin Fox Photography https://www.flickr.com/photos/foxmarvin/
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Tis The Season For A Stress-Less Holiday Season

Children who may be on the autism spectrum, have ADHD, or sensory issues may become overwhelmed by family gatherings and activities that come with the celebration of the “holiday season”.  The daily routine, so important to many of “our children”, is broken and the inability to “predict” what events will play out in a day can lead to behavior issues. Holiday decorations, lights, music, smells, foods, unfamiliar pets, loud conversations, cigarette smoke, perfume, hugs, and having strange people around are not exactly normal to their routine.  When you look at it all through “our child’s” eyes, it is understandable that they may struggle with the events of the holidays.

When preparing “our children” for the unpredictability of the holiday season, you want to start preparing them early and to practice for the new or out of the ordinary social experiences. I have been asked to provide parents with a brief overview of some of the therapy-based options, family-oriented ideas, and travel suggestions that you can implement when preparing your child for holiday festivities.  To follow is a partial list of ideas to consider and follow with fidelity that are sure to make this holiday season, a wonderful time for all.

Therapeutic Options

  • Social stories can help prepare your child for any new or uncomfortable event. Find stories (using the internet, via books, or from professionals) that cover how to act during holiday activities such as parties, being around unfamiliar people and large dinner gatherings, or write your own personalized social stories (be sure to keep ALL of the verbiage positive).  These stories allow your child to visualize the out of the ordinary situations and see them in a positive light.
  • Behavioral therapy can help your child deal with the behavior problems created by their perceptions and emotions.
  • Your child may benefit from therapeutic social skills groups.  Children are encouraged to practice social situations with their peers (through role playing and modeling) as they are being taught by professional therapists how to generalize solutions to perceptual changes.
  • It is not recommended to make medication changes during the holiday season, unless you are given specific directions to do so from your child’s providing physician. We want our children to remain as balanced as possible during the holiday season.

Family-based Ideas

  • Make sure your child’s favorite foods and activities are included in the celebrations.  Any time you can add in their special interests or some of their limited favorite foods, you will increase their comfort level and the enjoyment of everyone around.
  • A.L.T. Take precautions to minimize the chances that your child is (H) hungry, (A) angry, (L) lonely, or (T) tired. Any of these conditions by themselves is enough to heighten sensitivity and impair your child’s perception, which will impact everyone they come in contact with.
  • For those holidays where gift giving is the norm, inform gift givers of your child’s specific interests and dislikes. If possible, parents can help other gift givers make appropriate gift choices. Some of “our children” are sensory sensitive to the texture and/or sound of items, whereas others are emotionally sensitive and will “react” poorly if they perceive they are being given a gift appropriate for a much younger child. Receiving unwanted items may even lead to a meltdown.
  • Have an alternate plan for times where sensory issues become a problem. Anything from a quiet place to regroup or calm down, to planning to stay for only part of the time of the event, may be necessary.
  • Virtually any parent who has a child with “perceptual and or “social challenges” knows the value of having not only “Plan A” and “Plan B”, but, “Plan C, D, E, and F”.
  • Set your child up with a “buddy” during holiday festivities, the “buddy” can be a responsible sibling, cousin, or adult. Parents need to know the child is safe and hopefully enjoying themselves, while parents and others are entitled to a stress-free (or at least, reduced stress) holiday season.

Ideas for Traveling

  • Parents would be wise to research the location the family is going and the means of transportation being taken to get there. Fortunately, today, many facilities and organizations understand about the “special needs” some of our children have.
  • If your child has sensory issues such as sensitivity to noise, smell, touch, or lighting, see if you can reserve accommodation that are less stimulating to your child. Sunglasses, a hat, and earplugs may also be beneficial.
  • If you are traveling by plane, ship, or train, you can inform the agency of the needs your child may experience and provide them with a “heads-up” of potential issues. Once again having “Plan A, B, C, and D” in place should greatly increase the level of holiday enjoyment for everyone involved.
  • When sensory issues are involved, it can be worth bringing along your child’s normal bed sheets and pillows in case they find those in a hotel unpleasant. Any new clothes for the trip may need to washed several times if your child finds these ‘scratchy’ on the skin.
  • The use of electronics (with headphones) has proven to be helpful to help “our children” so they become distracted from overly stimulating situations and have a method to relax.
  • Some of our children are extremely comfortable on airplane’s, some are not. If your child has the potential to struggle with being confined on an airplane for hours, you may want to consider different options. You do have the option of boarding first, choosing special diets, and optimal seating. Service animals may also be an option for your family.

There are parent support groups and therapeutic service providers who can serve as valuable assets to having a wonderful holiday season. Don’t just leave this to chance, prepare and you will be rewarded.

 

Dr. Eric Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D. Certified Developmental and Behavioral Specialist

For more information about our online “student success” courses visit our website at: https://drnachonline.com/

For more information about the services available at the Support for Students Growth Center in Boca Raton, FL, visit our website at: https://www.supportforstudentsgrowthcenter.com

Follow us on social media as well @

https://www.facebook.com/NachAcademy
https://twitter.com/NachAcademy

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Thanksgiving Thoughts

Ah, I love Thanksgiving. It’s the perfect time to think about what we are thankful for and take inventory of our lives. You might have already started counting your blessings but if you’ve gotten lost in holiday shenanigans, I invite you to start now:

What are you really thankful for?

It can be something that you usually take for granted or something big that happened this year. Gratitude is gratitude. Plus, if you need even more of an incentive to be grateful, take a look at what you have been able to do to help others this past year.

Also, remember some family and friends may not have Thanksgiving plans… I’d encourage you to reach out and invite them to your celebration. Being alone during the holidays can be very lonely and difficult. Payton (Eloise’s young daughter) felt destroyed when her friends didn’t invite her for Halloween plans… imagine how adults feel without anywhere to go for the holidays.

Thanksgiving often comes with some family drama. Instead, be proactive and decide that you will have a different perspective. Understand that no one is perfect. The annoying parent that seems to only “criticize” you? They might just be really scared and doing the best they can. Try to empathize with the path they have taken in life to arrive at the place they are. Perhaps they only know negativity. Show compassion through your own positivity.

Wondering what the heck you are going to do with the kids the entire vacation? Rest and relax! Sleep in, make a mess, let the kids come in your bed for snuggles. You will miss this time in a few years. Do things that your normal schedule wouldn’t allow. for. Bake, sing loudly, dance, play. Enjoy the togetherness of family time. It’s a beautiful blessing. If you have a toddler that screams and throws temper tantrums (or a teen that does the same), take this opportunity to do some behavior modification techniques while you have the time to devote.
Finally, relax and enjoy the blessings of life and family.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Written by Elise Montgomery and adapted by Dr. Eric Nach

Elise Montgomerie is a certified life coach that specializes in family relationships. 561-289-2480

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